Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Spamming the Globe



From this day forward, Cyprus and Belarus will be known as havens for disgruntled workers rather than the answers that busted your SAT score.

We here at workingstiffed are proud to announce the results of a scientific analysis* that identified these two countries as the worldwide leaders in employee satisfaction. How, you may ask? An in-depth exploration of our audience reveals that Cyprus and Belarus boast the fewest number of online users viewing the satire, sarcasm and snarkasm offered on this here blog.

* Analysis conducted using non-scientific methods.

While Cyprean and Belarusian officials took to the streets in celebration with neckties rakishly loosened, other nations could naught but grimace.

"Imperialist thug ... you're fired"
The United States has, by far, the greatest number of workingstiffed blogomaniacs, proving that America is ready to lead the global economy in categories other than reality TV. Coming in a distant second, perhaps surprisingly, was South Korea. (It is our fervent hope that this analysis does not signal a desire on the part of the South Korean people to embrace the communist ideology of their estranged neighbors. They'd merely be trading capitalist angst for Marxist angst, and the Donald Trump comb-over for the Kim Jong Il leaf-blower.)

Other nations with Pronounced Dissatisfaction Vectors* included the United Arab Emirates, Singapore and Australia. The United Kingdom and Canada fared somewhat better -- something to feel smashingly good aboot.

* We should copyright this phrase before Six Sigma does.

These results have further emboldened the team at workingstiffed.blogspot.com to continue serving as an oasis in a global desert. Regardless of their nationality (we say this because "irregardless" is not a damn word), the peeved and peevish workers of the world will always find their preferred brand of blogtent* right here.

* There's another copyright.

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