Take the Management Quiz!

Answer the following questions and see if you have what it takes to become the kind of leader you currently despise.

Part 1: Type A-hole
Pick the phrase that best describes your personality.

a. Stabbed more backs than Norman Bates.
b. Having a torrid affair with the sound of my own voice.
c. So mean I urinate acid.

Part 2: Irony Deficiency
How many of the following statements can you utter with a straight face?

a. "Why are you so negative? Of all your bad qualities, that has to be the worst."
b. "You haven't taken any vacation days this year. That's something you need to work on."
c. "Improve morale or you're history."

Part 3: Graveside Manner
Your company has just completed a round of layoffs. The ideal method of comforting the remaining staff involves:

a. Sending out a memo with the heading "The Tribe Has Spoken"
b. Sub-letting vacated cubicles to the local unemployment office
c. Hiring a motivational speaker whose previous clients include AIG, General Motors and Enron

Part 4: Line Item
Which movie quote would you co-opt as part of your management philosophy?

a. "Failure is not an option." Ed Harris, "Apollo 13"
b. "Show me the money!" Cuba Gooding Jr., "Jerry Maguire"
c. "You are so f---ing fired." Glenn Close, "The Paper"

Part 5: Productivity Placement
An employee is having trouble completing a project. You respond by telling him/her to:

a. Do more with less
b. Do more for less
c. Do more with/for nothing

Calculate Your Score
Each answer of a, b or c is worth 1 point. If you bypassed the questions entirely and convinced a co-worker to write a Mission Statement that you will present as your own, give yourself 10 points ... and welcome to the team, Manager!